What Would Daria Do?

Life is getting hard guys. Not just in the sense that my walk into university requires me to walk at a slight upward incline, but like, in a grown-up way. I mean, guys, I’m starting to make decisions about my life, how on earth did I let that happen?

When I was in college and people asked what it exactly I intended to do with a degree in English Literature, I confidently replied: ‘URG get a graduate job – obviously!’

Three years later and I’ve come to the sad conclusion that graduate schemes are not going to happen and that I don’t want them to happen. I could say this stems from a Marxist resentment against the big corporations but really it boils down to the fact that most of these schemes require some basic aptitude with maths. A skill I do not possess… and hell, throw a ‘screw the man’ speech in there anyway.

So now I’m at a bit of a crossroads. I only really have a handful more weeks of learning time left, and one long and sad Easter holiday period and then… that’s it – real world time. In the back of my mind I know I should be thinking about what career I want, finding my path in life and all that, but really all I seem to think about is: WHAT WOULD DARIA DO?

For those of you who don’t know, Daria is somewhat of a hipster icon. She was apathetic before it was cool to have dripping indifference for everything – plus she wore some rocking boots.

 

I know that if Daria was a real person she wouldn’t be found crying at night under a pile of 2013 job market statistics with an empty Ben & Jerry’s tub stuck to her face. Daria doesn’t even know what tears are.

I feel that if I acted more like Daria and adopted a life plan of never smiling and wandering from room to room offering poignant wittisms on life and the banal futility of it all, that I would be moving in a more positive direction.

And I would also have an excuse to buy some killer boots.

Unfortunately, after many experiments, I’ve found that I’m just not emotional-devoid enough to pull off Daria’s character traits. For one thing I cried when watching Wreck-it Ralph. For another, I own too many silk blouses with flowers on, and like to make pun based jokes too often to ever hold my peers respect when it came to my words of wisdom.

But what I can take away from Daria is her total, unironical love of the trashy T.V. show Sick, Sad, World. I like to think the reason why she loved that show so much was because it gave her perspective on her own sick, sad life.

 

Why feel bad about the way your life is going when you can tune into the T.V. and watch reality T.V. that shows talentless, desperate, nobodies clamour for the public’s affection?

With this in mind, I’ve started watching all of Adam Sandler’s movies in chronological order, and find when faced with sad, sad, sad decline of one man’s credible film career, I suddenly feel a lot better about the direction my life is going in – better no direction that a Sandler direction, right?

So thank you Daria, you constantly prove yourself to be an inspiration.

Also my boots should be getting shipped over by Monday – winner.