I have a dream, a very simple dream. It involves one former house wife packing her bags, climbing into an open top car, and driving off into the sunset with her glorious blue hair let down and blowing in the wind.
Yes, I’m referring to Marge Simpson. Poor Marge Simpson.
If you’ve looked at the news today, you’ll see that Marge is going to separate from Homer in the next season (I know, I didn’t know Simpsons was still going either). The separation comes after Homer is lured away by another woman who will be voice by Lena Dunham (a siren that would tempt the best of us).
Now my initial reaction to this was… THANK GOD!
I mean, can we all now just acknowledge the poor plight of Marge Simpson?
A woman who has been spun around by her hair. Been given a bowling ball with her husbands name on it, from her husband, ON HER BIRTHDAY! Has been previously nearly cheated on before when Homer got a sexy co-worker. And who gave up many a career path in order to be there for the family.
Marge, it is time to leave!
Maybe it’s because the idea of going straight from school into marriage is terrifying for me, but there’s something about the story of Marge Simpson that makes me sad. The whole show constantly gives her occasional storylines where she finds her inner goddess (either by becoming a policewoman, an estate agent, a reporter, or even by having some sexual chemistry with the sexy criminal neighbour next door) and then puts her right back where she started at the end of the episode. I mean, I know she loves her family but gurl you’ve literally had a mental breakdown because of this relationship!
Wouldn’t it be great, just this once, if Marge just… left. We all know that Lisa would understand, hell, she would probably even support the decision.
Marge would go live with Ruth Powers (man, how great was Ruth?) and Ruth would give her some kick ass feminist advice because she’s already been through a divorce so she knows the ropes (seriously, more Ruth is needed in the show). Then Marge would start discovering all those passions that she left on the wayside to be with Homer. She would take up photography, start working in a little cafe run by a lovely older woman (maybe even run by Ruth!) who would let her display her photographs.
Lisa would then encourage her to put her work online. The story of a newly divorced woman discovering herself again will go viral. Marge’s artwork is a hit! She gets her own exhibit and at the opening exhibit Homer turns up trying to win her back. After a heart to heart, Marge tells him that, while there’s still love there, that the real love she needs to work on is that for herself. Homer shows a moment of maturity and accepts this. The two part as friends.
Then the exhibit ends and Ruth comes up to her and presents her with a pair of tickets. “What’s this?” Marge asks.
“Plane tickets, time to see the world with that little girl of yours.”
The two friends hug. Marge thanks her for inspiring her to be herself. Then Lisa appears and Marge tells her that the two of them are going on a little trip once school finishes. “Oh Mom!”
In the following months, Lisa and Marge going travelling. They travel all across America. Marge taking photos, Lisa writing down every little experience. At the end of the trip Lisa says she’s popping out to visit a local bookstore. On Lisa’s bed is her diary, left open on the current date. Marge can’t help but have a read and discovers an essay by her daughter, detailing how proud she is of her mother for blossoming into a new woman. A tear runs down her face.
She gets a text from Ruth. “Hey, you doing okay?”
“I’m doing just fine.” she texts back. Marge smiles and picks up her camera to step back into the world.
Go on, admit it. This would be fantastic. I bet you didn’t even realise how great an addition Ruth Powers would be, did you? Sure, I’ve left out Bart and Maggie but the writers can work them back in. I’m just an ideas man. A shining knight, here to rescue Marge Simpson and set her free into the world.
Or you know, what will happen is that they’ll get divorced and then at the end of the episode the two will just get married again, leaving Marge right where she started. *sigh*
Poor Marge Simpson.