Good news Internet, I have found myself a job. Well, a paid internship, which is close enough! As this is my first job outside of university, I want to make a good impression in the office. Obviously, as a woman, the only way to do this is through my work wear. Clothes are the equivalent to a Rorschach test in girl world.
Now I have some office wear saved up in my closet, but clothes have a sell by date. Once they’re out of season it’s like they grow a mould that only women can see and smell. No one wants to be the mouldy new intern.
With this in mind, I have been trying to find some of the best office wear the internet has to offer. And by best I mean the cheapest.
Asos has some very classy and cheap clothing available in their sale section, and if I had money, I might be tempted to shop over at Topshop. Yet Boohoo, who has always been known for cheap clothing, and who also dedicates a section of their website to telling you what is office hot and what is office not, seemed to be the treasure cove of my quest.
That was until I learned that cleavage has become the new office accessory. As a woman with a, erm, chest on the smaller side of things, you can understand why I felt disheartened by this revelation. Don’t believe me about this new fashion trend? Just take a look at some of these outfits.
Now while I’m for a woman being able to wear whatever outfit she wishes without facing disrespect, I can’t help but feel baffled by these outfits being classed as work wear. I thought offices required black trousers, pencil skirts and cardigans. In fact, I was planning on taking a ‘what would Liz Lemon from 30 Rock wear?’ kind of stance on the whole thing.
Now of course, my bemusement at these outfits might stem from the fact that if I were to wear such things, the hole with boobs in would just be a window to my gaping boob gap. A gap that is so large I sometimes find Grand Canyon tourists taking pictures down there.
Still I have to ask, is this what men deal with? Have you ever seen a man squeezing himself into a tight shirt that has a cut out for his six pack to be viewed from? Or have they ever wiggled their butts into scuba material trousers?
Or maybe men wish they could wear some boob-a-licious outfits. Maybe they get bored of wearing nothing but shirts, blazers and sensible trousers. Has anyone ever asked David Brent if he would like to do his tax returns in sequined leggings? Or questioned Donald Trump about giving a scallop cut blouse a go for his next meeting?
I remember going to one job interview and one boy sighing because he was jealous that all us women had to do was ‘put on something decent and shove a blazer over the top’ – which isn’t that incorrect.
So what do you think internet? Are women blessed in the work wear area? Or cursed by being asked to grow fun bags big enough to fill a Billie V Neck Cap Sleeve Bodycon Dress?
I think, for the time being, I might give Boohoo a miss this season and stick to the tried and tested blouse and blazer combo that I’ve been wearing to job interviews for the last month. And maybe in the future, when I have some money, I can get my classy act together and dress like the working Goddess that is Tina Fey herself.
If you’re stuck for ideas on what to wear to the office, I suggest giving this pinterest board a look. You can also give BooHoo a go yourself, despite what this blog might have led you to believe, most of the stuff on there doesn’t look like outfits for strippers trying out for the apprentice.