Shoe Porn: Doggy Style

Him: Reflect Leopard Heel Sandals from Topshop. There’s just something about this single sole sandal, with its clasp ankle strap and leopard block heel that makes a girl feel naughty – maybe it’s the 100% leather. To me they look like the love child of 90’s fashion’s obsession with animal print, and modern day obsession with bondage. They are the time travel sandal. You could rock out in these with a pair of black skinny jeans in the day, and take them for cocktails in the evening. This is the shoe that keeps on giving, shame it’s not a man…

Her: Bisoux Suede And Calf Hair Loafers from Charlotte Olympia. I keep saying to myself: ‘Don’t go on Net a Porter, don’t go on Net a Porter’, because for a lowly student like myself, it is shoe torture. Like these loafers, just look at these loafers. Made of calf hair (effin’ CALF HAIR! A baby cow is bald because of this shoe) and suede, they actually make leopard print look classy. Then again, anything that costs £485 has to be classy, that’s just how the world works. I imagine for that price, apart from the adhesive Polaroid picture that comes with it (assumedly because only Carrie Bradshaw buys shoes this expensive, and she needs a easy way of organizing her massive, and costly pile of shoe boxes), these shoes also give you compliments with every step:

 

“You’re fabulous”

 *step*
 “You’re pretty”

*step*

“Your hair looks great”

*step*

“Who cares about your bank balance with pores as tight as yours”

*step*

“You look so great in us, it was definitely worth forfeiting electricity this month.”

*step*

“You look so hot in candle light.”

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