Man Porn: Michael Fassbender (and his penis)

Sometimes I feel like this blog is travelling in the wrong direction. Just a quick look at the Key word searches people use to find my blog has my concernosaurs running wild. I don’t want people reading my blog because they think it’s filled with actual porn about shoes. Or because they were looking for pictures of Kristen Stewart’s vagina. This isn’t how I pictured my future blogging success (you know, money, diamonds, a date with Ryan Gosling – that type of success) starting. I wanted it to be classy, like, classy as balls.

I’m really sorry to disappoint you person looking for Mara Wilson’s big tits.

So with this in mind, I got to talking with my manager at work. Being the professional that I am, it revolved around important issues – do the t-shirts need folding, how many customers we had been getting, and my obsession with Michael Fassbender’s face, and by face, I mean his massive cock.

“I suppose you’ve seen that film of his, the one with, you know…”

“The penis film, yes I’ve seen it once or twice.”

“I hear he’s like a tripod.”

“It is sizable, but it’s the face that’s the main attraction, that beautiful chiseled face.”

“You know when I first looked at your blog I expected it to be more of this stuff.”

“What Michael Fassbender’s penis and face photos?”

“Well… Yeah.”

What’s that old saying? ‘If it looks like a duck, and sounds like a duck, and everyone thinks it’s a duck, it might as well be a fucking duck and quack’, or something like that. And so, we my reputation proceeding me, this is me quacking. I hope you’re happy Ant (yes, the manager I was talking to was a guy).

Here is Michael Fassbender’s face.

 

Here is his penis.

 

 

His face

 

His penis
FACE
 
PENIS
 

Now that I have cemented my reputation as hilarious provider of female wank bank fodder, you may all return to reading blogs of substance and value. Maybe a blog with pretty pictures and instagram pictures of a skinny girl wearing nice boots. I’ll just stay here and live in my own shame… (Shame, get it? Because of that’s the film he’s in – Shame, living in shame, get it? I kill myself…)

7 thoughts on “Man Porn: Michael Fassbender (and his penis)

  1. So this is different from Page 3 because – it's more explicit? It's more sexist? It's more objectifying? it's more offensive? Ah, no. It's because you're a woman and he's a man. So that's fine.

  2. So this is different from Page 3 because – it's more explicit? It's more sexist? It's more objectifying? it's more offensive? Ah, no. It's because you're a woman and he's a man. So that's fine.

  3. Well not really because this is clearly about humour, not sex. Furthermore, this isn't a picture of a man posing for the sexual gratification of women, it's a collection of stills from a film about sex addiction. And is Mr. Fassbender's opinion or views going to be ignored because of this post? No. Are these images posted in a family orientated newspaper? No. Is Mr. Fassbender even taking his clothes off for money? Is he doing this because he feels that his only worth in society is his body? NO! Why? Because he's a man, and he's doing this for art and to help send a message about the dangers of sex addiction. He is part of a social debate, whereas the women on page three are not respected, are not put on page 3 for humour, are merely images of an 'ideal sexuality' that men have crafted for centuries in order to degrade women. SO NO STEVE THIS IS NOT THE SAME AND YOU KNOW IT!

  4. Pingback: Man Porn: The Hotties of the British National Gallery | Lady Bits and Bobs

  5. Pingback: Man Porn: Ewan McGregor (and more penis) | Lady Bits and Bobs

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