Shoe Porn: 69

Him: TheMillicent Stud Back Boots from Topshop. These grey suede boots, with gold studs and zip detailing are perfect for pairing up with pastel dresses. Plus they’re an optimistic shoe; it shows you’re putting a lot of faith into the Great British summer if you’re willing to step outside in practically white suede. And at £40 it’s almost acceptable that you’ve had to buy a second pair BECAUSE you were optimistic and wore them outside and it rained, and you stepped in a puddle, and the first pair ended up looking like a studded mud bunny.

On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t be optimistic. Maybe have these as an indoor shoe, for like casual lunches and tea dates in gazeboes, or some British shit like that…

Her: Trickers Silvia Grey Suede Chelsea Boots from ASOS. Speaking of British shit, check out this slut. This premium quality suede is hand crafted in England by the Trickers. These guys are ‘renowned’, I’m guessing in very shoe orientated social circles, for combining English classicism and twenty-first century flare when making their shoes. Kinda like if Geppetto made shoes instead of surrogate puppet children.

Of course, anything with the word ‘hand crafted’ on it comes with a price nowadays. And like any high-class call girl, these beauties come with a big price – £340. But if you can’t splurge of something this essential to your wardrobe, what can you splurge on? *

*And by essential I mean, not really necessary but would probably look good with three or four outfits and when you wore said outfits, people would say things like ‘Oh those shoes are nice, where did you get them?’ And you would be able to reply ‘Oh these things, they’re hand-crafted from Northampton’ and then walk away like the smug bitch that you are.  

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